The Perks of Rebellion

            We follow our household and community rules and regulations. We have to excel. We have to live up to our parents’ and other people’s expectations. We must never be the black sheep of the family. We must not bring disgrace to our family. Have you ever asked yourself if you’re happy with what you are doing? Have you ever wanted for a break free from all these stuffs? Have you ever remembered when was the time that other people asked you what you wanted to do with your life?

            Many people say that all the youths now are all stupid brats and a rebel. We are trouble makers and attention seekers. We are conceited and disobedient. Teenagers do these stuffs.  What is a teenager without a little rebellion?

            I have once possessed those certain traits although I even possess few of those traits today but I have managed to control it somehow. I worked hard to be at the top. But the people around me was never contented, they wanted me to strive harder. With all the pressure, I just woke up one day and said to myself, “I don’t want to be me anymore. Why won’t I try breaking the rules?” Day after day I have changed my nerdy school girl appearance into a rebel teenager. I skipped my classes and I only attend one if I wanted to. I never study. I faced my phone 24/7. I joined clans and socialized more. And there were many things that I’ve done without my parents knowing. At that moment I said to myself, “This is life.”

            At the first half of the school year, I placed second and my parents got disappointed but I was never shaken. I continued to do my thing. My parents noticed that I have been abusing my phone. I was grounded for one month but when my punishment was lifted off, I did it again. It was just a cycle until my parents receive my report card. My grades were not that bad, I just ranked third on the class standing. But I did not care, I never studied anyway at least none of my effort was wasted.

            During summer my mother got home and commanded me to go the master’s bedroom, she locked the door and scolded me for what I’ve done. My cousin whom I treated as best friend told her all the things that I’ve done. She was so furious that she cried in front of me. With a wink of an eye, I reflected everything that I’ve done those past few month; doubts and regrets followed. That time, my parents decided to stop supporting for my education. I never said a word; I’m not open to my family about how I feel.

During that time I wanted to tell the things that I was holding in my chest this whole time but I was dumbfounded. Every time I tried to communicate with my parents they always have something to say about me being the black sheep of the family and how I disappointed many people. One time I heard that my mother and my aunt fought each other because my aunt badmouthed me in front of many people. It was very chaotic. There was not a single day that I never cried myself to sleep. I even tried to commit suicide but my little brother came to me and wiped my tears.

After that, I tried to be strong for my siblings. I trashed the thought of having suicide; I still have a better life to live. Few days later, my father told me that I will have my second and last chance to prove myself. I got enrolled for the next school year and got my title back. The pressure was still there but I tried not to mind it.

Life is a journey. We fail to follow the road signs. We take the wrong road. Sometimes, we have to stop. But we still learn and it’s up to us how we will reflect the bumps on the road. Life is never about looking back. It’s about moving on, allowing changes and looking forward for challenges that will make us stronger. It’s never too late to have a life and it’s never too late to change one.